Caleb Kayaks!!!!

And I'm naming names for once. Not just the"eldest".
And it took me 2 weeks to finally put this in here because I couldn't think of words for it. I still can't. I can't even think of any way to make it funny. Disasters can be funny. Tragedy, hilarious. Stupidity entertaining (guiltily) -but ... How can I even begin to convey what it feels like after 26 years and one brilliant idea after another (but the failures were comical) to finally find one that works? No one is holding that kayak, or guiding it. There are no strings attached. You can not tell from the picture what a miracle of normal this is. That amazingness of just like everyone else is only apparent to those who have seen all the not so normal. There are no crutches here. Even to me it feels vaguely insensitive to rejoice that he doesn't look handicapped here. Too bad. Of course it isn't wrong to be handicapped- but by golly it sucks. This didn't. Not at all. He stayed out for an hour. As soon as we can we'll be out there again.

Weird sky

Remember what I said about being a bad mother and a bad daughter all at once? Well this last week MY daughter was left to deal with ALL the consequences of poorly adhered pouches (not bags) -let me say, no let me not say it. There is no delicate way to put this but the blood (once she had consulted with the on call nurse) was the least of her troubles. Meanwhile I was punished by 90+ degree days in a house with no AC (in case you were wondering why the heat wave the end of May). And the sky was scary looking (or possibly risque depending on your imagination). And I probably am a BAD daughter too -but I have very GOOD daughter. She is the wind beneath my wings -ok, not really, but she is pretty cool right now. And cool is good.

cool

How lovely and cool this caterpillar looks to me. Eating fennel must make you feel cooler too. Something must. We have no AC, no central air, no air con-ditioning, no tolerance for whiny children. I can only be glad the grandmother is at her house with the granddaughter. Only window units there but they have smaller rooms and I imagine a breeze from the river. So it's not so bad right?

It doesn't actually make me any cooler imagining the breeze off the river. But then again I am not fetching coffee, or helping with pouches (not "bags" I'm told by the certified colostomy nurse and surely she knows) (also "pouches" is more friendly). Nothing but sweating. Then the guilt sets in that mother and daughter are both there (as in not here) together. In case you can't figure it out that makes me a bad, bad daughter and a bad, bad mother. And sweaty.

They say we'll have storms tonight and I keep waiting for the wind.