upndownupndownupndownup

Last week we went far away for a long time (on a few gallons of gas and with one night babysitting). The picture is the view from our room. There were flowers waiting for me when we got there. We were able to check in early and just lounge around. We wore the hotel bathrobes and giggled. They were not slimming- but they were comfy and the view from the balcony was lovely. It was like being on a cruise ship. And our son in charge of our other son only called twice (or was it 3 times) to ask us what our plans were and where we were and when he could drop off his little brother where he (little not big) was spending the night. Having told him, each of us did, several times, writing it down in multiple spots, just wasn't the same as hearing us say so in the moment. Still he did start to pick up a little tone on our part and didn't call any more (that night).

A little deep breathing and I was back on my exotic cruise ship. We strolled around the old shops, we ate a lovely dinner -ok we ate too much of a lovely dinner. We had room service breakfast, we strolled and shopped more -barely escaping from a shopkeeper who may not have recovered fully from the 60's yet and surviving the scathing look from the pompous one in the next shop. I got a call there about Jesse and the canceled preschool class -now combined with the one on the days that don't really work for us and the teacher he doesn't know but I am weathering this crisis much better than I would have 15 years ago.

So any way we got home tired and happy and the next day dawned bright and early as cloudless summer days are wont to do but the clouds, so to speak rolled in. With the mail as it turned out which contained - a plethora, at least that word works here- of books ordered from eBay in an obsessive/compulsive/forgetful/impulsive bit of pointing and clicking Caleb had done. He does have the money to cover it but both the amount spent and what he spent it on (oh, I suppose I have to specify nothing risque) is just embarassing. At least to me -and if it doesn't embarass Caleb that is even worse. I was my usual sweet, subtle, calm self handling the whole thing.

That was three days ago and Caleb and I are probably both still shaking (a little less crying) and the books, unopened, are in the back of a car. Tune in here to see where they end up.

Last night we moved my mom back in -until someone can stay at her house with her but we leave all this pretty vague. Not for her sake alone. I think it is easy for all of us this way. All the options are open. Still- other than a little hand waving I think we have communicated pretty well without having to be too blunt and say, "Look mom. You are 91. There is no up hill from here."And I'm not really worrying about getting the right pads for you to refinish that wood trim yourself -but I pack whatever you want and I notice you don't put your painting clothes in. Little by little we all inch towards it but we try not to mention the elephant in the rrom too much.

Tonight Jesse had me call Carolyn and he told her whe needed to come home tomorrow 0"the day next to taday" he helpfully explained and that she could even wake him up by ticling him in the morning. This is a high honor but still she could not so he tried to arrange to "come where she is coming." This sister-going-to-college-thing is very hard and not a board book in sight to help us get through it. We could find one on 2 mommies or 2 daddies or 3 penguins but a sister in college -now that's abnormal.

Testing

Just a note(most of which is unrelated to the actual video) with this video. I see 300,000 plus bloggers also listed About a Boy as a favorite movie and 3,000,000 plus list science as their work area -but I am the only Limited Part-Time Faculty. I am so proud. I guess the PhD was all worthwhile. Plus I have such a musically gifted son. It's his own composition and everything.

The highs and lows

We took my next to last baby to college this weekend. And bought a beaver puppet for the last aby. It is tough explaining to a 4 yr old why his sister is going away to school and will not come home "the day next to today." Meanwhile I think I have poisoned myself with a Wegman's cookie. They are really big and I ate the whole chocolate dipped washed down with milk thing while I perused the news (MJ was murdered, Bill is down to a 2, things aren't going well in the Middle East, and appendices are useful (now they tell me)). Now I have a serious sugar overload and I called my nurse friend to be sure I'm not dying. I did not of course ask her this directly, I just gave her the facts so she could draw her own conclusions. She said to lie down and drink water. My excuse is that... actually it's pretty weak.

And in the other room my oldest is frustrated because he wants to travel alone and that is not a great option. There aren't alot of great options for him truth to tell. At least there is something he wants to do. That is an improvement over last month.

And I was working on some data analysis today -which sounds much more impressive than I spent 4 hours trying to figure out how to merge some data correctly except that I already had figured it out and just hadn't actually typed in the small but cricial "by" statement due to the argument over loud music with the next to oldest child. He is getting ready to move out. A good and terrible thing and suddenly we are fighting again as we haven't in years.

And it rained so hard yesterday that the hummingbird feeder has more liquid in it than it did before the storm. Fortunetely the hummingbirds will take their sugar watered down. They are lovely, ruby throated (and not) green flying gems of delightful joy. Really.

I love this news http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090824/ap_on_sc/us_sci_multitasking_mayhem

Second time -that's practically a pattern

No followers yet! Still, it seems a bit strong to refer to any friends or relatives I do convince to sign up as actual followers -but I like the idea.

I'm still just getting my feet wet here.

I stopped by the square where "the big boys" hang out. "Thanael's fends." Jesse wants to stay with them. They run around the brick courtyard pretending to be -well, I don't know what it was but it obviously had wings. I love moments like that. Street lamp lit and warm and too relaxed to even call sultry. The laziest of summer afternoons with the light turned off. Faces come in and out of my depth of field (so to speak) and the conversation is slow. But I did learn one young man's dreams -not so far from my own at that age and nothing like as well. And my son is there to scoop up his little brother and carry him back to the car and I know he is showing off their bond, and maybe even ours- because I am obviously trusting him even as I call out to take it slow as he runs with Jesse on his back. So there it all was. Talk about writing a PhD dissertation, a 4 year old running wid and a gathering of young men who are all my wild child's friends. That must be a success.

Then I came home and spent an hour-maybe more, trying to get the lint off the clothes I washed with a chenille throw. Lint is sort of an understatement. I could stuff several pillows.

First time

This is my first official blog -although I have been blogging for years -in my own mind. I fretted over doing this. When even murderers have their web pages that no one sees until it's all over how worthwhile is another drop in the ocean? But then I realized I could at least make my husband sign up and there was always the hope that I would reach all those other people just like me; struggling with a 90 something mother, twenty something kids, one with a permanent disability, a preschooler, and a part time professoring gig, not to mention punctuation (a struggle not a gig). We can form a club. Or not.