Next time we go through airport security I'm gonna make him wear this hat (which obviously was a must-have-purchase). That way it will all make more sense.
First some scene setting. Me and 2 big kids and one not so big are trying to make a 7am flight. Given the airlines charging for checked bags we of course each had the maximum allowable carry ons. But one of us is walking with crutches and one of us is 6 years old. That leaves 2 of us with our hands very full. Well, that could be any 2 adults traveling with kids. Just like anyone else... until we get to security where being special kicks in. You see if you can't walk through the metal detector unassisted you have to be frisked. I'm thinking they don't frisk infants but I'm not sure. I don't know what's happened to those wands they used to use but apparently that is just not good enough for all the physically disabled population. I don't want to sound prejudiced so let me assure you that I believe the disabled are as big a national security threat as anyone else naturally. Then the TSA throws in a complimentary hand wipe to check for explosives residue. I was informed it would also pick up gunpowder so target practice with some men from church* might be fun before traveling next time.
On the way home we tried the wheelchair option since airports are almost as big as theme parks (and with the same lines!). It did get us a shorter line (the airline guy pushed the chair so no sympathy for losing another luggage carrier) but by the time they're done with the frisking and the swabbing and the scanning the crutches and figuring out where to put the wheelchair it didn't really feel all that special.
The good thing was that when I asked the TSA guy if there was anyway for someone like my son to avoid the personal touch every time they flew and he said no and then added, "We are doing it for your safety" I didn't take one of those crutches and... Let's not even think about it (and if the TSA is reading this - only kidding guys!) . (But if the TSA is reading this next time just say, "yeah it's stupid ma'm, but it's my job." and then we could still be friends).
Boarding the plane was not so bad since I chose seats as far forward as possible and this airline let us choose seats. Not like United who put us on the exit row a few years ago even though they knew we had a toddler and someone using a wheelchair. Then they boarded us last so after getting the crutches past everyone (and let's not forget the carseat) , they had to rearrange those same everyones since 2 of our party** couldn't legally sit where they put us. Finally there's the wear to put the crutches on the plane routine. Last in, first out -except we never are first out but it's a nice theory and we didn't actually hit anyone (on purpose) when the crutches came out this time.
This is why we drive alot.
*It seems to be what they do to bond. Don't ask me.
**I'm using the term "party" euphemistically of course.
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