Neither my first born nor my mother were with us. I didn't actually give Grandma the option. I did give the bearded one (did I ever mention shaving is hard when you can't really stand unassisted for long, or see very well, or that shunts cause puberty to hit years earlier so he's been hairy for a long time? Clealry this is a tangent but it does relate to my guilt because I fuss at him for not shaving) a choice. But then I offered to pay him for staying home with Grandma and I knew he was short on cash. And I also knew I still can't find the handicapped parking permit and the DMV never sent the replacement and it would be a lot of walking and we already had Flat Stanley to worry about.
And the 25 year old wanted to come but to get in he'd have to come with us for the DOD entrance and he had a committment way back home from Andrews at 5pm and I didn't want to be that rushed and we were invited to dinner nearby. So I didn't make that work. And I always try to make these things work. I did happily take the daughter, home from college, and with whom the 7 year old wants to be with every minute. And I let him.
In theory I don't think I should feel badly about the 3 adults I didn't include or the one I took advantage of. I think. On the other hand one is my mother and the rest, I'm theirs. It's hard to let go either way. It's hard to know what is theirs and what is mine. I can't even tell where I begin and they end -or when they begin and I end or...
Or why when I was so good about putting sunscreen on everyone else I forgot my low (but only by Presbyterian standards) neckline? I haven't had this bad a burn in years. It helps with the guilt.
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