invisibility

There was a recent article in the WSJ on "invisible" disabilities. These are disabilities that you can't see. Sometimes I've heard them called "hidden"- same thing, slightly less dramatic. They are very terrible because no one can tell without you explaining... that it is very terrible. I knew all about them before the WSJ article about how these types of disabilities are costing schools more and more money. I knew because people think that 1) I'm much nicer than I am and 2) that my other half and I will sympathize even if we can't know how extra awful it is to have to explain to people that your child (or you) is disabled (but the hopeful sympathizee tries to explain that to me). Other than my height I have no real explanation for the first mistake but as for the second: let me take a whack at it.

Apparently some people think that with a visible disability the world is kinder and more understanding. Did these people not see the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Do they live some place where all the kids want to be best friends with the guy drooling in the wheelchair? Or even sit next to the kid with a stutter and a limp? If it was an option (and you know it is) would they have the word "disabled" helpfully tatooed on their child's (or their own) forehead?

And as for their additional burden of having to explain everything let me explain that seeing the CP doesn't explain anything. We still have to explain (and explain) everything all the time... no he's not as smart as Stephen Hawkin, no he couldn't walk witout the crutches if he really tried, yes he can hear you, -ask him yourself! Plus we don't just explain when we want people to know he has a disability and help would be nice (or not (which we also have to explain)). We have to explain to any random person who asks and to small children who point and stare and to sympathetic strangers. Or at least I have to if I want them to think I am much nicer than I am.

The picture goes with the rant because I took it on August 27th to show the flowers I had picked in preparation for Hurricane Irene -her rain is on the window. Or at least I think it goes with the rant but I'm not going to explain.