Blowing Bubbles

When I was young, a long long time ago, everyone thought I'd be a writer. My teachers did, my family did, I'm pretty sure my friends did. Certainly I did. I'm not saying the idea that I'd be a good writer was universal, just the writerly expectation was. I must have kept exuding this whole English major vibe for while because once an "educational expert" working for the 2 most pompous neurologists we ever saw (and that is a very competitive category) told me she was sure I could teach my son all about "Shakespeare and books" but we should let the "professionals" take care of the math.
 Guess who taught him math? OK, his father did, but that was only because of a patience issue I had...
As for wiring my novel, I had this idea that I would save up my words for when I was older and had more life experience. (You see I always wanted evidence.)  At that point they would pour forth like diamonds etc etc. So now I have the "life experience" (can I quote myself?), only the diamonds are missing. Everything I thought I knew seemed to float away. And far from diamonds, words that I was sure would cut through anything, I have bubbles that drift, and burst and shine in the sun and blow away in the wind. The stories I wanted to tell when I was younger no longer interest me very much. Mostly I don't believe them.
 We found a letter the other day dated 1916 written by my mother's mother. That was 2 years before Grandma's birth and 3 years before her mother's death from the last of the Spanish influenza epidemic. It was a letter written to Grandma's grandmother. And it had my mother's turns of phrase in it. In fact the kinds of phrases I would have used, my mother would have used... "I had but just found him again..." she says of her fiance (Grandma's father, you are keeping this straight?). Is there a gene for that?
   My mother's family also expected her to be a writer. She said it was because her father pushed her she didn't do it. She never pushed me. That's why I didn't. Only I don't think that's true anymore than I believe her excuse. I believe it's genetic.
Now Grandma is at the house her father built in 1938. And now it doesn't seem to me 1938 was that long after her mother died. What's 19 years? I can see why her step-mother still didn't quite fit in. My (underemployed) daughter is with Grandma. Everyone has always known math is that girl's strong point. I wonder if she'll find the diamonds?

Screens

..can't live with 'em, can't live etc etc. Or more accurately I can't sleep with them (electronic) or see through them clearly (any).
 Tomorrow Grandma should be back. My offspring are mostly unemployed and at least 2 people are very possibly ignoring my Facebook friend request...while I am only ignoring one. I find I use one sort of screen for what I say  blogging and another on Facebook. Not so much a different size mesh as a different sort all together. Sort, get it?

And universities are less and less interested in adjuncts, at least the universities that pay well are less interested, at least mine. (Note the irony that I think of them as "mine" but they don't really think of me as "theirs" at all).
Also glue guns are a fast but inferior method for putting on all those badges you have to transfer to the Webelo uniform.
And my true age still baffles me. And even reading glasses don't help to see out the window. You can remove the screen of course but the bugs are pretty bad. (Oh, that was terrible... bugs!).
Metaphors are really only slightly removed from puns if you think about it.

Happiness is the truth

... is probably the dumbest line in a song I've ever found myself singing any way.

 So instead of learning about responsibility and the harsh realities of the real world my daughter got a job interview within 24 hours of irresponsibly ending her job and it is exactly what she (thinks) she wants to be doing. Teaching math to high-schoolers... you forgive me for the snarky "think" now don't you? And she has a half way decent chance of getting it since apparently they are desperate (referring to their willingness to hire someone with no class room experience not my child per se).

Meanwhile I was in full fretting mode so I forgot to check on the seizure med status after the Hey-mom-I'm-having -a-seizure-at 2AM guy called in the refill only to find it was time for a yearly renewal and the neurologist's office hadn't yet responded according to the hated mail order pharmacy (Express Scripts -I may hide my childrens' names but these guys I want you to know) who told me erroneously they no longer do expedited shipping but it arrived 6 hours prior to none left  and before having to call the neurologists (them I like) again.  Take a breath here.

 Numbers wise: Grandma is back in 6 days and counting and I've watched the Taylor Swift video "Shake it Off" 4 times in the last 3 days, which is a little weird.  And "Anaconda" 1 time, which I deeply deeply regret. Don't do it.  Being culturally informed is not worth it.

 So today I worked on clearing and organizing the basement and figuring out the secret to a happy marriage. I got the latter. Being happy -of course both of you have to be happy at the same time at least occasionally.
Still that's pretty much it as far as the secret goes. This is easy with a sailboat. And at least some money. And nothing to make you unhappy.

 A good marriage is another thing entirely.

Shopping...photos

So, here's a family update I might not put on Facebook (which I swear I'm going to sign up for (on?)): {is this too much punctuation?}
  The 24 year old girl QUIT her job. For all excellent reasons... to her. OK, so the parents aren't happy about it. You know that program where they have high school girls walk around with baby dolls to find out about how much babies change your life? I want some version where you have to pretend you are all the way grown up (like I do every day)  and, after your years of hard experience, the baby does NOT LISTEN to you... but (here's the kicker) you KNOW THEY SHOULD. You think the hard part is over but...listen closely - it NEVER really is. That would scare off those teen pregnancies!

I have practice typing in all caps from all the texting the day she told us she'd ALREADY quit.
Clearly ALL caps is very effective.

The picture is just days before she took her leap- don't you love a good photo metaphor? And it is photo-shopped since my diet is not working out well due to not doing it. We are holding hands.

Now I will have to tell Grandma the good news -she can stay at her house longer than just a weekend when she comes back to us next week, and I will have to tell her the bad news that it is because her ONLY grand-daughter is UNEMPLOYED. And Grandma is going to be UPSET and lose sleep trying to figure out if it is her fault since I am HER baby. It is probably because she had to QUIT breast feeding me when her milk dried up. Or that she was too old to have me -a two-for since I am even older with MY youngest.

I was going to blog about just meeting the eldest son's new neurosurgeon since the old (in pretty much every sense) neurosurgeon flaked out on us (after 29 years, to be fair) and left the country. About how this new guy pretty much just said, "Nice to meet you. Send me his shunt scans. Pick up my card on the way out." I kept pulling him back to give information that seemed pertinent. Like I'm just doing the talking because of the stammer but your new patient does have an associate's degree, and he has grand mal seizures, and he can go south very quickly from shunt failures and even your nurses here have missed that when he was in your flippin'  ICU but they weren't watching and thought drooling/incoherence was his norm... that might be helpful to know. On the way out I heard the doctor dictating "I just had the pleasure of meeting...."  On the plus side we had time for a nice Mexican restaurant on the way home. I forgot surgeons aren't interested in anything non-surgical. Just our beloved-but-flaky-leaving-the-country one WAS.

i am all done with caps now.

If I get on Facebook will you be my friend? And other age inappropriate questions.

Is  it OK if I post my son's girlfriends's selfie if it is upside down and 2 of my own children are in the frame (and my back)?
If my mother says she doesn't want any more blood transfusions but then I hear she is going to have another one should I ask her if she really meant it?

When my 4th grader admits on the way out the door that yes he is wearing the same shirt he wore the 1st day of school, and the 2nd, and that he slept in it both nights and this is the third day of school should I have made him change it?

Is it acceptable to spray Downy Wrinkle Release (insert trademark thingy) directly on clothes being worn by persons also about to leave the house? If they are all over 18 and consent can be assumed because they are bigger than I am and could have stopped me if they really wanted to?

If my mother doesn't make it another 2 months will it still be alright to go to Disney World for my birthday?

When I trim my oldest son's beard (he can shave himself but when you can't stand unassisted and can't see worth a darn it's kinda awkward so he let's it grow) whose job is it to clean the bathroom?

Should I worry about my new smart phone being hacked since I took a selfie in a sarong skirt and bikini top?

How many hours on Candy Crush is really too much?

If we put a small refridgerator by my mom's bed when she comes back in 2 weeks from my sister's to make keeping her drinks cold can we use the extra space for beer?

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Ageless Wisdom

The question is how smart was I to get this picture? I put the camera in a repetitive shooting mode and then I waded through the hundreds of images to find the 2 that caught a strike. I was standing on the dock. The thunder was thundery, the wind was bowing -towards me as I'm taking these pictures but a little towards the far end of the dock. It doesn't sound very smart. Kinda risky. But when I was a kid my mom and I would stand in the "backyard" which was the river side and watch the storm approach, dashing in only when we were already about soaked. She would get us in off the water when the storms got too near... or at least try to. I remember more than one time in our little rowboat (with an outboard) that we "ran before" the storm and I'd huddle under the bow. My mom always did think I was pretty wimpy to really be her daughter. In any case she would have stayed on the dock longer than I did.

 That;s probably why she's 96 and I'm not.

If you are interested here's an interesting article
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/31/sunday-review/the-boomers-biggest-challenge.html?action=click&contentCollection=Technology&module=MostEmailed&version=Full&region=Marginalia&src=me&pgtype=article

That is it's interesting for baby-boomers or for those studying them. Turns out time is a completely unexpected phenomenon. I will tell my mom how much easier aging is for her since she knew about time passing and not being young forever (the poor boomers had this hidden from them, possibly by the government). Aging will also be easier for everyone else from now on because we (I mean them, since I might be in the we that's the boomers) can learn from them (I mean us).

 Sometimes it strikes closer to home...