Talking back

Don't you think moss is peaceful? Sometimes people suggest we lime our yard to make it less habitable for the moss but moss doesn't need mowing. Low maintenance is the name of the game.

... since life is not. I went in last night so ready to yell at people but my mom was resting well and she only woke occasionally to squeeze my hand and she'd go back to lightly snoring. That sounds a little more idyllic than I meant -she startled occasionally to jerk awake and grimace, clutch at my hand and then sink back -that's more accurate. Still I left at midnight hoping she'd be alright. My sister returned at 6am to find her frantic with pain and no nurses in sight. She spent 45minutes trying to call one. You know how in all the tv shows the hospital halls always have a steady stream of personell? Hah. You have a better chance of finding a salesperson at Walmart. And like Walmart if you go to the section with all the electronics you have the best chance.

Apparently narcotics tend to give the elderly all the side effects and little of the main effects so she has been in a fog most of the day. To look at her you would think she is far gone. She never even opened her eyes when the surgeon came in but when I asked (suspiciously), "Did you follow all that mom?" She managed a. "yup". Mainly I think she just doesn't think it's worth the effort to be too present -and as I recall from my own surgical adventures that's how it feels. I had to head out for work (explaining the odds ratios again, really) the staff was going to "help" her clean up and get her sitting up -in other words, medically sanctioned torture.

My torture was the night before when I began to question if we should have listened to the surgeon. Hadn't the GI guy said let's wait and watch? Was the surgeon just trolling the halls for work? Wasn't the OR (not odds ratio this time [biostatistics humor]) unexpectedly available at a momen't's notice. Did they decide to go drum up business. Did I influence my mom in accepting an un-necessary procedure and cause her to go from relatively (very) comfortable and alert to this drugged and beaten state? My better half told me to stop it. He's probably right again.

This afternoon she sipped tea and something like (but it couldn't have been I think) ice cream according to my sister. I will review for the final exam (and hope no one asks any complicated questions) and stop by the hospital again tonight. It's spring.