Ifs

If this hadn't been so boring maybe he wouldn't have switched to the ball and bat set. And if I had played with him instead of working on the yard I wouldn't have picked up all those ticks. And if I hadn't collected  quite so many ticks maybe I wouldn't have missed one. If I hadn't overlooked that one maybe I  wouldn't have gotten the rash and mildly flu-like symptoms that sent me to a walk-in clinic on a lovely Saturday and missed out on being outside -in which case I might not have gone out at dusk to weed my own garden and not have accidentally pulled the  rose branch that sprang back and clobbered my knuckle with its iron like thorns. If that hadn't happened I wouldn't have gone into a different walk-in clinic Sunday to have my very swollen hand x-rayed and my growing tick rash admired and the antibiotic the first clinic prescribed changed to the far more appropriate (and nauseating) doxycycline, my finger taped to a splint and a TDaP shot in my now swollen left arm. And if my charming husband had not had to drive me in for the required follow-up with the real doctor on a Monday afternoon and if we hadn't run into a friend after seeing the doctor and if we hadn't accepted their invitation to hang out with them (and some interesting beers) and if our sweet daughter hadn't agreed to take care of the homefront with the added enticement that she was going to have to give Grandma her shot anyway (my hand, remember?) and if Grandma hadn't had nose bleeds all night because of the oxygen and she had to ring her bell for help and if I hadn't been told not to use my possibly broken hand THEN he wouldn't have only had 2 hours of sleep and really be bit grumpy today.